i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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