Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
