More tranny stories later!
operation harelip BJ is a go
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
