quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
