Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

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  (972): So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale. http://tfl.nu/iff3
  Replies (26) Good night (562) Bad night (3590)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.

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  (515): there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up. (1-515): yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that. http://tfl.nu/isva
  Replies (9) Good night (2686) Bad night (760)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

  (406): View more from Montana

  IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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  (509): Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober. (406): IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out. http://tfl.nu/sia4
  Replies (10) Good night (1069) Bad night (3962)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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  (419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru
  Replies (18) Good night (3251) Bad night (4553)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  im trying to make cookies in the george foreman

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  (757): im trying to make cookies in the george foreman http://tfl.nu/otmc
  Replies (18) Good night (4757) Bad night (950)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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  (203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex
  Replies (24) Good night (4354) Bad night (854)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same

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  (810): I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same http://tfl.nu/4oc8
  Replies (6) Good night (2496) Bad night (1219)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.

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  (304): You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar. http://tfl.nu/zoyd
  Replies (1) Good night (3543) Bad night (730)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.

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  (902): He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone. http://tfl.nu/e24h
  Replies (9) Good night (2042) Bad night (827)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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  (705): Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/v5hf
  Replies (41) Good night (8121) Bad night (1186)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (409) Bad night (1177)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.

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  (330): Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson. http://tfl.nu/3wwn
  Replies (6) Good night (1184) Bad night (449)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

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  (330): She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water? http://tfl.nu/897n
  Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (281)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?

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  (903): I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical? http://tfl.nu/u7vi
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (476)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS

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  (608): WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS http://tfl.nu/ztcl
  Replies (2) Good night (208) Bad night (346)

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