Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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  (919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo
  Replies (8) Good night (1173) Bad night (841)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4470) Bad night (1165)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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  (985): he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say.... http://tfl.nu/7igc
  Replies (41) Good night (1212) Bad night (2988)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me

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  (315): idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me http://tfl.nu/dmik
  Replies (27) Good night (8119) Bad night (1031)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm in awe of how selfish that is.

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  (519): Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking. (1-519): I'm in awe of how selfish that is. http://tfl.nu/dlh3
  Replies (10) Good night (3732) Bad night (1672)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day

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  (513): Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day http://tfl.nu/hc9r
  Replies (3) Good night (2677) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.

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  (515): Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack. http://tfl.nu/7j66
  Replies (2) Good night (1837) Bad night (748)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2618) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I want to be you.

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  (541): Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!! (306): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/x9vb
  Replies (14) Good night (1746) Bad night (1293)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.

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  (205): I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work. http://tfl.nu/jnr2
  Replies (8) Good night (1261) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.

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  (801): fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering. http://tfl.nu/0c1c
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well

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  (614): Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well http://tfl.nu/giyd
  Replies (14) Good night (661) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.

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  (704): I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/63zf
  Replies (3) Good night (731) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.

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  (727): Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best. http://tfl.nu/j1qb
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.

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  (778): Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had. http://tfl.nu/0gqr
  Replies (16) Good night (360) Bad night (890)

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