your thong is hanging out like whoa
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
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Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
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Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad