its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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