Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
