my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
