I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
