I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
