I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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