Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
