In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize