so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
