A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
