Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
