We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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