Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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