Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
