Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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