i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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