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Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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