Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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