I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
