So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
