he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
