singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
