The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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