it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well I just put wine in my tea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
