Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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