discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
