i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
