Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
