I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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