drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
