Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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