Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
