Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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