Are we in a gay sports bar?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize