Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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