Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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