How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
