I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
