we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
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