im gay
i know
yea but for you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
