Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
