so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
