he was CRYING into my vagina
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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