He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
