real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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