just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize