i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
operation harelip BJ is a go
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
