real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
