i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
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Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
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Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.