i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way