Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.

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  (612): I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks. http://tfl.nu/pli4
  Replies (27) Good night (4115) Bad night (1039)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.

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  (405): It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother. http://tfl.nu/gdyr
  Replies (42) Good night (1157) Bad night (2749)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me

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  (314): he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me http://tfl.nu/5t56
  Replies (17) Good night (875) Bad night (4133)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.

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  (402): my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/e85f
  Replies (12) Good night (4758) Bad night (1018)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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  (401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3
  Replies (11) Good night (3518) Bad night (1341)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club

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  (514): You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club http://tfl.nu/px87
  Replies (3) Good night (1875) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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  (330): Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it. http://tfl.nu/tfef
  Replies (19) Good night (1298) Bad night (2624)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!

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  (352): She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week! http://tfl.nu/rhq7
  Replies (4) Good night (1960) Bad night (630)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body

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  (870): I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body http://tfl.nu/2hgi
  Replies (15) Good night (664) Bad night (2264)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.

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  (613): New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple. http://tfl.nu/c07n
  Replies (12) Good night (2275) Bad night (873)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds

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  (416): Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds http://tfl.nu/xosv
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (949)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.

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  (509): As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/wazh
  Replies (5) Good night (1357) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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  (828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.

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  (904): I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE. http://tfl.nu/5ef6
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (598)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.

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  (206): I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night. http://tfl.nu/ej36
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (373)

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