I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.