So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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