we have officially lost it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
