i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
