when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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