letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
