I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
why is half of my head shaved?
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