this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I seem to have left my pride at pride
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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