even my farts smell like vagina
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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