remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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