I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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