In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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