Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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