Banned from zoo.
Again?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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