So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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