just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize