i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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