Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
